


secrets I have held in my heart (are harder to hide than I thought)

by swallowsmateforlife



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Skiing, Snowed In, Winter, self indulgent skiing love plz forgive me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2772677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowsmateforlife/pseuds/swallowsmateforlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam are in love. Everyone knows except for them. Cue romantic rides up the chairlifts, snowy weather feelings, and a whole lot of cute.</p><p>Written for the Ziam Winter Fic Exchange. The prompt I chose was:<br/>"The boys go skiing and get snowed in. Do they have to cuddle for warmth? How does their relationship change after 3 days of only each other’s company? Hint: SEX."</p>
            </blockquote>





	secrets I have held in my heart (are harder to hide than I thought)

**Author's Note:**

> To whomever requested this prompt, I really hope you like it and I have done your request justice!
> 
> Thank you to [Tori](http://poppunk1d.tumblr.com) for putting up with three damn months of my complaining, anxiety, struggles, frustrations, constant need for re-assurance, and for loving me no matter how horrible I was.
> 
> Title from "I Wanna Be Yours" by Arctic Monkeys.
> 
> A note - this is really, really self-indulgent. I love skiing. I love skiing a lot. I ski every winter, and I based this fic pretty much entirely off of my local ski resort. If you really want to see the actual ski runs the boys talk about [here is a map](http://www.skicastle.ca/_cabinet/5/CastleMap_2014_MAINFINAL.jpg). But it's honestly not important to plot or anything. This includes skiing vernacular and jargon and so I'm super sorry if you're not a skier! It's so self-indulgent I AM SORRY.

Zayn could not have been more grateful for such a perfect day as he stared up at the mountains before him and the boys, so ready for the day to begin. A ski trip with the lads was exactly what they’d all been wanting to do for ages now and with term break and Christmas holidays upon them now was as perfect a time as any to catch a cheap red-eye flight with their equipment and hole up in a rented chalet for the weekend.

After trudging up to the chalet they had for the weekend and dumping suitcases, claiming bedrooms, and general rowdy boy mucking about in the place the five had made their way back down the hill to the main lodge on the hillside to prepare for their first runs of the day, equipment unpacked from travel casing and hoisted onto their shoulders, all ready for a day of skiing and snow and perfect weather and probably a few snowy tumbles down the hills after miscalculating a jump here and there. Zayn couldn’t wait.

The air this morning was crisp and sharp, but Zayn could tell it was making for a clear, beautiful day ahead. Not cold enough for multiple layers, Zayn just zipped his ski jacket up and worked on lacing his lift pass through the zipper pull, glancing back at Liam who was seemingly struggling with his own.

“Here,” Zayn said gently, stepping over to Liam to lace the zip-tie through, tugging it to secure Liam’s pass to his own jacket so the lift operators could see it properly. Zayn smiled softly, lifting his gaze to meet Liam’s, a flutter flickering through his belly. He and Liam had been dancing around… something for weeks now and Zayn was pretty sure he knew that Liam was into him but for some reason or another neither of them had plucked up the courage to make a real move. Zayn kind of knew, if he was honest with himself. He was nervous. Afraid of rejection and the possibility that he had been reading Liam wrong and that saying something would set him up for humiliation and destroy the good thing they had going on in their friendship.

“Thanks,” Liam said quietly, a small smile creeping onto his face as Zayn tugged the zip of his jacket up all the way and then pulled back to resume dealing with his own equipment. Liam’s eyes lingered on Zayn for a moment before he turned as well to start lacing his snowboard boots, dropping his gaze to focus on the task at hand instead.

Zayn let out a slow breath as he sat on the bench, watching the fog drift skyward for a moment before he leaned down to begin tightening the snaps of his ski boots, locking them into place with a _snap_ and standing again, laughing lightly to himself at the ever-awkward first attempts at walking in ski boots. No one could ever look graceful doing it and it felt strange to have his ankles locked into place but he knew he’d adjust in no time. Skiing was one of Zayn’s most favourite activities and he’d been doing it for ages now, since he was a little boy. It sometimes felt like a homecoming, really, when he snapped his boot clasps into place and stepped into the skis with a _click_ that let him know he was good to go for the first run of the day.

“What’s the plan, boys?” Zayn asked, turning around to eye over the other four all in various stages of equipment and jackets and set up. “Louis’s staying on the green runs with Harry, yeah?” He asked, knowing Harry had never skied before and Louis had agreed to teach him. He smiled as Louis nodded, leaning over to press a small kiss to Harry’s lips as they got their boots on together, and Zayn felt the smallest pang of jealousy.

Louis and Harry had been inseparable since running into one another in the bathrooms of their dorm floor this past September and Zayn couldn’t help the way he wanted what they had. Instant connection, smitten love for one another, inseparable and attached at the hip. Zayn wanted that, too, but Liam wasn’t making any moves and Zayn was afraid of scaring Liam away – of losing the friendship they had built, and losing how perfect it all was, really. If Liam really wasn’t interested in Zayn in the same way he was pretty sure he’d be alright, anyway. Having Liam as a best friend was a pretty great trade off.

_“You’ve gotta just go for it,” Louis had told him one day as they sat in their dorm room together, each on their beds as Zayn worked over an English paper and Louis lay there, tossing a football against the wall._

_“What if he doesn’t feel the same way, though? Maybe Liam’s just too nice to tell me to back off and if I really do go for it I’ll scare him away, like,” Zayn sighed heavily, frowning as he looked over at Louis on his own bed. “I’d rather stay his friend than fuck anything up.”_

_“Mate, come on,” Louis said, catching the football as it rebounded off the wall, and holding it to his chest as he looked back at Zayn. “When Liam’s around you it’s like he’s a kicked puppy and you’ve come to the shelter to adopt him. He loves you, bro. But the puppy doesn’t get to choose the owner, you know? You have to pick him. He wants you to pick him.”_

“Alright, fuckers, I’m done sittin’ around here. Louis and Harry are headin’ to the green runs so we know where they’ll be all day. You two up for a warm up off the Sundance chair?” Niall asked as he stood, tugging his ski gloves on and making to grab his snowboard from where it was propped up against the equipment storage stands.

“Only if we can take the Easy Street branch on the way down,” Liam said, standing as well and snapping the clasp of his helmet into place. “I hate Centre run,” Liam said, a small whine playing at his voice, and Zayn could only laugh.

“We can warm up on Easy Street,” he agreed, nodding a bit as he moved to grab his skis and poles from the stands as well. “But I’m making you do Huckleberry chair with me this time. Sidewinder run is open today and it wasn’t last time we were here. You lads gonna be alright?” Zayn asked, looking over his shoulder at Louis and Harry who were just finishing up with boots and about to snap into their skis.

“We’ll be good, yeah. You lads should take the Tamarack chair up after Sundance and come down North Run instead of Easy Street and meet us on the Jackalope,” Louis said after a moment of thought. Zayn knew how much Louis loved skiing – probably as much as Zayn. He’d spent many winters traveling with Zayn’s family to different hills around France and Switzerland and for him to be giving up his first ski day of the season to teach Harry… Zayn knew how much Louis must love him, truly.

“Jackalope?” Harry butt in, looking up from his skis to stare at Louis. “Is that some kind of play on the Bunny Hill? Are you telling me you’re taking me to the _Bunny_ Hill?”

“Exactly,” Louis laughed brightly, nodding his head. “The green runs – the easiest ones – are the Jackalope, Rabbit Flats, and the Flap Jack. There’s some green runs up Sundance chair but they’re really long and I’m not taking you up there yet. Maybe later this afternoon or tomorrow. You’ve never skied before, Harold, we’ve got to start somewhere.”

Zayn laughed a little, smiling as he watched all of his boys for a moment. This was what winter breaks should be – trips with his mates, skiing, renting a chalet, and having the time of their lives. Toss in some alcohol, a fireplace, and Harry no doubt streaking through the chalet and it was bound to be the best weekend ever.

“Right then,” Zayn nodded, laying his skis down side by side and toeing into the first one, pressing his weight down on his heel to click his boot into place, and repeating with the second, locking his boots in. “No promises on North Run, when we get up there I’ll see how busy it is,” Zayn said, planting the tips of his ski poles into the ground and pushing off to glide down to the Sundance chair.

“Good luck, Harry,” Liam said in earnest, smiling brightly as he stepped one snowboard boot into place, leaving the other free to push off and follow after Zayn to line up for their lift.

“You’ll do great, Harry! See ya, Lou!” Niall hollered, pushing off after Liam, the three of them coasting down the little dip and slotting into place in line for the Sundance chairlift.

“Feeling a bit nervous, like,” Zayn said with a small smile shot Niall and Liam’s way. He always did on his first run of the season, regardless that he knew he was an incredibly strong skier and had nothing to worry about. “Maybe excited, I guess.”

“Me too,” Liam nodded, nudging Zayn’s shoulder gently and smiling a bit at him as they shifted forward as more skiers loaded into their lifts. “Let’s take North Run down and meet Louis and Harry. We can check up on them and then go back for Easy Street,” he grinned, and Zayn laughed as he nodded his agreement.

“Boys,” Niall said, a few steps behind them. “Take your own chair, I’m gonna ride up with this guy,” he said, thumbing to the boy behind him. “Ridin’ solo today and it’s a long way up,” Niall said with a grin.

“Leave it to Niall to make friends before we’ve even hit our first run,” Liam laughed brightly, pushing off the loading platform, Zayn following suit until they were side by side as the lift chair swooped around behind them, buckling their knees and scooping them up and into the air.

“See you at the top, Ni!” Zayn called back over his shoulder as he watched Niall and the stranger be scooped up into their own lift. Zayn grinned as he righted himself again, reaching up to pull the safety bar down over his and Liam’s laps. He situated his poles in his left hand, letting them rest against his skis, straightening them out to point forward so he wouldn’t get caught up and fall upon their disembark at the top.

“This is gonna be an ace weekend,” Liam said, lifting his ski goggles from his face to rest atop the front of his helmet so he could see Zayn clearly. “I can’t imagine the nightmare Louis is in for,” Liam laughed, grinning as he glanced down at the run beneath them, skiers sweeping through the shadows of his snowboard above.

Zayn laughed lightly as well, nodding a bit and grinning to himself. Harry was a great guy and he fit right into their group of friends instantly, even though he was only a first year, but his coordination issues and legs for days were no doubt going to be interesting for Louis trying to teach him the ropes – especially because Louis was small and compact, muscles toned and built for athleticism and skiing, especially. Zayn had faith, though. Louis was a great instructor.

“He’ll be alright,” Zayn said, looking back at Liam and smiling gently at him. “He loves Harry. They’ll be perfect.”

“Mm,” Liam agreed, nodding a bit as he turned his eyes forward, watching the lift ahead of them and all the others making the fifteen minute journey up the mountain. “Harry’s lucky. You know, to have someone love him as much as Lou does.”

 _I love you,_ Zayn thinks, and is surprised by his thoughts because that’s new. He likes Liam, sure. He likes him a whole lot. He likes spending time together and laying around in Liam’s dorm when Louis has Harry over. He likes that Liam has a private dorm because he’s an RA on their floor which means peace and quiet and no annoying room-mates – not that Louis is annoying, just… he is some of the time. He likes that Liam lets him pick the music they listen to, and doesn’t mind just hanging out in the quiet when Zayn wants to read and do nothing. Zayn likes that Liam knows exactly how to run his fingers through Zayn’s hair in the way that will settle him best, before an exam or an essay, and neither of them seem to think too far into it or what it means that Liam knows what soothes Zayn and doesn’t hesitate to do it.

Zayn likes the way Liam smiles so hard sometimes that his eyes nearly disappear as the apples of his cheeks squinch up in delight. Zayn likes how Liam sings under his breath to the music they listen to, with no self-consciousness or shyness about it, or fear that Zayn might judge him. He likes that Liam always has tea at the ready when Zayn stumbles into Liam’s dorm room at arse o’clock in the morning before they have their first English class together. Zayn also likes the way Liam’s jumpers smell like a mixture of his cologne and Liam when Zayn steals one in the mornings because he misjudged the weather before class and didn’t bring his own.

Zayn loves Liam, he realizes, and everything feels calm.

A smile spreads on Zayn’s lips as he looks up to the approaching depart platform, ready to lift their safety bar so he and Liam can be dumped out at the top of the hill. When his skis touch the snow he pushes off the lift seat, Liam following on his board, and he glides down the slight slope out of the way so Niall and his new friend can follow suit.

Once the three boys push off toward the right-hand runs Zayn glances at the signage declaring which runs are open, arrows pointing off in every which way to direct skiers to the appropriate hills.

“We don’t need to take Tamarack chair up to get to North Run, we can get to it from here,” he points out; looking at the map of runs and chutes on the sign. “Let’s hit North and go meet Harry and Louis, and then I want to go to Huckleberry for Sidewinder. North is a green run so it’ll be an easy warm up. Sound good?” He asks, looking back at Liam and Niall.

Zayn likes the challenge, is the thing. And the first run of the day is fine to do a green run. He likes an easy warm up, getting his ski-legs back and feeling the movements come back naturally to him. But he hasn’t been a green level skier in over twelve years and he’s ready for the challenges of the blue trails. Maybe not today, but he wants to hit a black diamond sometime this weekend, too. Maybe a double-black if he and Louis are feeling brave by Sunday morning.

That’s his favourite – him and Louis, like they’ve been since they were little boys, only back then they were snowplowing down blue runs, terror in their eyes at the higher levels of difficulty. Now, when they ski, it’s the two of them with blind bravery, barrelling down black runs lined with moguls and jumps, trees to dart around and between, steep drop offs and harsh edges. Now, it’s the two of them challenging each other to go faster, turn sharper; to keep their knees together and their weight low, to fly off the drop-falls through the air and land fluidly in the powder gracefully. Zayn can’t wait for Louis to do some runs with him today. He loves Liam and Niall, and they’re great boarders who get better each season, but it’s not the same as having someone like Louis who is equally as good (if not better) than he is to push him to be better, too. There’s almost nothing Zayn loves more than knowing Louis can push him like that.

“Sounds good, boys,” Niall calls, seating himself down in the snow alongside Liam to snap his other boot to his board, the two of them easily pushing up off of their arms to standing positions, leaning back to carve the edges of their boards into the snow lest they slide away.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Liam says to Zayn, edging his board down more toward the slope of the hill.

“Ready, yeah,” Zayn grins, digging his poles into the snow to push off as he, Niall and Liam glide out straight across the top of Easy Street run to make it to the mouth of North Run. Zayn turns his ankles out to angle his skis straight and downward, heading down the hill with Liam and Niall gliding along behind him in wide back-and-forth Z-shaped swooshes as their boards maneuver forward and back across the width of the run.

Zayn feels it in his thighs almost immediately as he keeps his knees together, sitting his weight down low as he carves his way down. North Run is easy, eight year olds and their families by-passing the three of them together, but it’s a nice opening run to get his ski-legs back. Still, Zayn is ready for some deep powder, wind in his face as he accelerates down the mountain, the challenge of bumps and lumps in the hills for his knees to take the impact of as his body crouches into it.

Zayn carves a hard right to slow himself down as North Run meets with a black diamond run above them, keeping aware as he looks up the run for any approaching skiers. With the way clear he cruises forward again, laughing delightedly as Niall – a brilliant snowboarder but with little regard for his own safety – plows through the intersection without slowing at all, sailing down the mountain with disregard for his own well-being or the possibility of a crash from approaching skiers from above. His cackles echo through the trees around them and Zayn couldn’t be happier.

Until Liam whooshes by too, and that is just not on. Zayn won’t have two boarders beat him to the bottom of the hill. Everyone knows snowboarding is just for cool points. Skiing is the real art of speed and agility and Zayn will _not_ be bested by Niall and Liam.

He shoves his poles hard into the snow, using his strength to push him off as he skis hard, picking up speed on the downslope and crouching deep into it. He can see Liam close ahead, Niall barreling down the hill in front of them both like a madman. Zayn narrows his gaze, focusing on the slope and rounding a sharp corner tight to the treeline and grinning when he sees the entrance to Rabbit Flatts ahead.

When he crests the small hill into the Flatts Zayn swipes down the hill, carving left and right through the fresh snow until he can see Louis and Harry below, Niall sat down on the hill, board carved into the snow. Liam is stood, board carved, leaning his bodyweight backward to keep himself upright as Zayn approaches, carving right and stopping himself on the hill sideways so as not to slide.

“How’s it going, lads?” Niall calls to Louis and Harry, twenty feet below. Zayn can see Harry working a pretty good snowplow, not quite figuring out how to carve just yet but plowing is a start. At least he’s upright. For now.

“Great, great,” Louis calls back, carving gently along with Harry, back and forth so as not to get too ahead. “Harry’s a natural!” He laughs, and by Harry’s suddenly crossed ski-tips sending him into a small tumble a few feet down the hill Zayn knows that’s not true. He laughs lightly, knowing that Harry is likely having the time of his life despite having zero natural coordination.

“Ready for Sidewinder?” Zayn asks Liam, turning to face him now as they rest there astride the hill together. Liam groans a little, and Zayn wants to squeeze him. Liam is better than he knows, better than he thinks he is, and Zayn wants Liam to believe in himself and let go of his nerves or anxieties about the hills. “You can do it. It’s one of the easier blue runs, Leeyum. We’ll be fine. And after that we can do whatever run you want,” Zayn negotiates, knowing that it’s pretty unnecessary anyway because Liam will pretty much do anything Zayn wants to do. Except for blacks. Zayn knows Liam is good, but has the potential to be incredible and maybe, by the end of the season, hit the black runs with him and Louis. Right now Zayn knows only Louis will do the blacks with him, but they’ve been skiing together since before they could even carry their own equipment. It’ll be a slice for them.

“Okay, yeah,” Liam agrees, nodding a bit as he glances back down at Harry and Louis, both back on their feet and carving their way to the bottom of the Jackalope hill. “Let’s do it.”

Zayn pumps a fist in the air, grinning happily as he turns his skis to coast down to where Niall is still sitting in the snow, watching Harry and Louis.

“We’re heading to Huckleberry chair,” Zayn says, looking down at Niall. “You coming along?”

“Nah,” Niall says, waving him off. “Gonna sit here and watch these two idiots for a while,” Niall tells him, laughing lightly to himself. “And it’s my first day of the season so I don’t wanna risk much,” he says again, looking up at Zayn.

Niall’s knee has been fucking him around for ages now and Zayn knows he’s having surgery in the spring and is probably antsy about it and doesn’t want to risk damaging anything further. He understands. Niall, unlike Liam, typically holds no regard for how difficult the chutes might be. Zayn’s never seen anyone go careening off the side of a run down an embankment and cackle the way Niall has. But this surgery is risky business and Zayn knows that it’s better for Niall to preserve what he’s got now so he can heal and be ready to go for next season. Zayn prays it goes well, even though it’s months away. If Niall couldn’t snowboard anymore, or was destined to a life of intermediate chutes Zayn knows he’d be devastated.

“We’re just gonna do a few runs off of Huckleberry,” Zayn says, desperately not wanting Niall to feel like they’re leaving him behind. “And then we can go up again, the three of us, yeah?”

“Get outta here,” Niall laughs, bunching up a gloveful of snow and tossing it at Zayn. “Go romance Liam on the chair. The view’s great.”

Zayn pokes Niall in the shoulder with his ski pole and laughs, glancing a few feet up the hill where Liam is still resting. He smiles, knowing the Huckleberry is a half hour ride up. They have all the time in the world.

“Let’s go, Leeyum,” he calls affectionately, grinning as he angles himself to cruise down again. He calls a goodbye to Harry and Louis as he zooms past, Liam hot on his heels. The two of them cruise up passed the Green and Sundance chairs, making the short trip to the purple Huckleberry chair. It’s a slight slope up which Zayn’s arms protest against as he uses his ski poles to propel himself upward, Liam pushing along with one foot off his board like usual.

They slot into line together, still early enough in the day that people are doing easier runs back on Sundance chair so there’s only one other couple ahead of them and no one behind, so far. Zayn smiles a bit, looking over at Liam and lifting his ski goggles to rest against his helmet for the wait and ride up. Niall is right about the view off of this lift, especially this time of the morning when snow is still fresh from last night’s fall, all glistening and powdery.

“Don’t be nervous,” Zayn says, nudging Liam gently as the couple ahead of them is scooped into their lift chair and carried away into the air. He shuffles forward with Liam to the pick-up gate, waiting as the attendant lets an empty chair swing around and go off before waving them forward into the pick-up gate.

“I’m not… not really,” Liam says as the chair scoops them up, Liam pulling the safety bar down across their laps as Zayn situates his poles. “Just didn’t get to go much last season and this is our first day this season so, you know. Kinks to work out and stuff,” Liam explains with a little shrug, kicking his free foot gently as they ride up into the air.

Huckleberry chair is a long lift, a good half hour to the drop-off gate which means plenty of time to talk and take in the view and just enjoy the quiet of the mountains before the thrill of barrelling down the more difficult runs catches up to them. Zayn nods his head a little to Liam’s comments, shifting a bit in his seat. It’s a three-seater chair so with only two of them there should be a lot of extra space but Zayn finds himself with only a few inches of space between he and Liam and it’s nice. It’s comfortable. They touch a lot when they’re sitting or lying around in Liam’s dorm room. This isn’t so different.

“I’m glad you came,” Zayn says softly, eyes turned to Liam and trying not to give away too much by fonding all over the place. “Just… like you said. You didn’t get out here much last season, and all,” Zayn says, frowning internally for not being totally honest.

“Oh. Yeah, right, of course,” Liam says with a nod, but Zayn can see the disappointment in his eyes. He doesn’t want to hurt Liam and he knows he’s being irrational because everyone tells him how obvious it is that Liam likes him back. Zayn sighs, looking down at the snow below and trying to get himself together.

“Just. I’m glad you’re here. With us. Me,” Zayn stumbles out, biting his lip gently and chancing a glance back at Liam.

“Yeah?” Liam asks, the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Zayn smiles too, nodding a little and bumping his knee gently against Liam’s, the _swish_ of the nylon of their ski-pants brushing together filling the air.

“Yeah,” Zayn affirms, smiling at him softly. “Just, it’s nice to get away from school and families and stuff and just be out here with you. We hang out so much anyway and I love it but this is fun, yeah? And we’ve got the chalet this weekend and stuff, so. It’s just nice to be here. With you.”

Zayn doesn’t miss the smile from Liam or the way Liam ducks his head gently, a blush dusting his cheeks. Or maybe it’s from the cold. Zayn likes to think the former.

Zayn nibbles his lower lip gently, enjoying the still mountain morning air and the comfort of having Liam next to him as they ride the lift together. He shifts just slightly, letting his ski-pant-covered thigh press against Liam's. With all the layers of material between them he couldn't feel any warmth from Liam but Zayn kind of feels like being next to him like this was enough.  
  
"What are you thinking about, Leeyum?" He asked quietly after a few moments' of quiet between them. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to sit quietly together for hours in Liam's dorm room, but today Zayn got the sense that there was something on Liam's mind; he could feel the slight distance between them and though it wasn't alarming or unsettling Zayn would rather nip it in the bud.  
  
"Nothing much, I suppose," Liam offered but Zayn wasn't buying it. He nudged Liam's knee with his own, encouraging him to go on. "Just. Are we okay?"  
  
Zayn stared hard ahead of them at the empty lift chair, watching it sway gently with the movements of the lift. He pulled his lip into his mouth, chewing for a moment before exhaling a slow breath and nodding a little.  
  
"We're more than okay," Zayn said, moving his free band to curl his glove around the safety bar. "Why wouldn't we be?"  
  
"I know you said you're happy I came, that I'm here," Liam started, his gaze settling on Zayn's sharp profile. "But I just. It feels. Different, doesn't it?"  
  
Zayn knew Liam was right and knew it was his own entire fault. His feelings were absolutely getting the best of him. He knew Louis and Niall encouraged him to tell Liam and more and more it was feeling like that was where this was headed.  
  
"I'm sorry," Zayn said, finally turning his gaze to meet Liam's intense brown eyes, full of worry that felt like a snap to Zayn's chest. "It's not you, Liam. It's not. I've just... I'm dealing with some stuff."  
  
"Like what? Zayn, tell me," Liam said and Zayn could hear the plea in his voice. "We talk about everything."  
  
"Not this, not yet," Zayn said, shaking his head a little. He glanced ahead again, seeing they were a little over halfway up the lift. Another ten minutes or so to go.  
  
"When, Zayn? It's felt weird for a while now. Not bad, we're still good, but it's been a little while now where things have been a little different and just... I think I know why? And I just wish you'd just tell me," Liam implored and Zayn felt his heart plummet to his stomach.  
  
"Liam..." Zayn started, sighing. "It's not that simple. I promise nothing is wrong, I just need some time to work it out," Zayn said, shifting and pulling his ski goggles back down over his face as they approached the unloading zone.  
  
Liam sighed next to him, frowning as he lifted the safety bar and prepared to be dumped out of the chair.  
  
Zayn pushed off once his skis made contact with the snow, gliding out of the way for the next chair with Liam close behind. He watched as Liam sat himself on the precipice of the Sidewinder run, snapping his board on to his boots expertly before pushing himself upright again, finding his balance easily.  
  
"If I win, you tell me. If you win, you decide when to tell me," Liam said, shifting his hips to angle his board down toward Sidewinder run. "3, 2, 1, GO!" Liam yelled, lowering his centre of gravity as he tipped down the slope, leaving Zayn grappling with his poles for a moment to push off after Liam, stunned by Liam's challenge. He'd been nervous to hit the blue runs so early in the day and was now challenging Zayn - who'd skied for upwards of seventeen years by now - to a race down the run.  
  
"You wanker!" Zayn called after him, sinking his weight down, bending his knees and trying to pick up speed as he carved his way down the run, bouncing between moguls as Liam raced ahead more graceful than Zayn thinks he's ever seen Liam on his board before.  
  
Liam's delighted giggles surrounded him, bouncing through the trees and fresh snow, powder billowing up behind him and into Zayn's face as he tries to catch up. Zayn growled his frustration, knowing Liam had the one up on him this time, catching Zayn off guard was a big advantage and he was cruising down the slope beautifully, with no signs of slowing down.  
  
Zayn lost sight of Liam around the turn onto the Round-Up Traverse that would take them back to Huckleberry chair. He skidded a hard left turn into the traverse, knowing Liam had him beat now. Still, Zayn pressed on, delighting in the fresh powder of an untouched chute and the wind in his face as he chased Liam down.  
  
Zayn carved his skis to a stop, casting powdery snow into Liam's face as the younger man giggled his joy at beating Zayn to the bottom of the traverse.  
  
"Fucker," Zayn said, panting for breath with his gloved hands braced against his knees, heart racing from the thrill of the race and the terror of Liam's challenge catching him so off guard.  
  
"I won!" Liam grinned, leaning over to unsnap one boot to push himself along as they began to move, gliding along casually side by side toward the lifts again. "You gotta tell me now."  
  
Zayn dug his poles into the snow, taking a few slow breaths to bring his heart rate down. Now or never, right?  
  
"I want to kiss you," was what spat from his lips and that was not quite what Zayn had had in mind for the big reveal, but he supposed that sometimes the universe just takes control like that.

Stunned, he stuck his poles into the snow to stop himself, wide-eyed behind his ski goggles as he stared at Liam, who stopped as well, staring right back at him.

“You what?” Liam asked, his voice soft and gentle as ever as he looked back at Zayn.

“I want to kiss you,” Zayn confirmed, nodding his head gently. “I’ve wanted to for a while, I guess? I mean I want to do more than kiss you, too, but. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I uh, planned on this being a lot more eloquent,” Zayn said with a nervous laugh as he brought his gloved hand up to tug nervously at the strap of his helmet.

“You… you can, you know. I mean. You could have a long time ago too. Or I guess when you feel ready to?” Liam stammered, nibbling his lower lip and frowning a bit. “No pressure, is what I’m saying.”

“I really like you, you know,” Zayn said with a little laugh, nerves subsiding into affection for Liam’s stammering. “I really want to have a great weekend with you and just –“

“Kiss me,” Liam interrupted, smiling that smile Zayn loved so much. “Just kiss me, Zayn. You said you want to. C’mon then.”

Zayn gaped at Liam, eyes widening comically behind his ski goggles as he stared at the other boy. He stammered for a moment, flustered and struggling to react appropriately, caught off guard by Liam’s forwardness. After a moment of gathering himself together Zayn shifted his ankles to carve the edges of his skis into the snow before nodding gently, bringing his gloved hand up to Liam’s jacket-covered chest.

“Okay,” he whispered, leaning in, smiling just barely as Liam leaned toward him, too. Zayn’s eyelashes fluttered closed as he pressed in to close the space between them, lips mere centimeters from Liam.

“Oi, finally!” Niall’s voice bounded around them and Zayn jerked back, gaping at Niall swooping over on his board with a fist pumped in the air. “You fuckers took long enough!”

A growl of frustration escaped Zayn’s lips and he thought momentarily about spearing Niall with one of his ski poles.

“Now it’s gonna take longer, because you interrupted!” Zayn nearly shouted, unable to believe the utter hatred the universe must harbor for him.

“Oh shit, really? I thought like, you’da made out all the way up the lift,” Niall laughed brightly, ducking out of the way of Zayn swiping a ski pole at him. “Sorry, man! Sorry, don’t let me keep you! I just came to find you two and tell you Haz and Lou and me are heading up Sundance. Harry reckons he can manage North Run but it’s his first big ‘un so we’re probably gonna be up there an hour or so, so don’t worry or wait around for us.”

“Oh my god,” Liam groaned, gloved hands coming up to hide his face, embarrassment dusting his cheekbones. “I can’t believe this just happened,” he said, muffled behind his gloves.

“Thanks, Ni,” Zayn said, sighing exasperatedly. Of course this would happen. Why not? “We’ll be around but I guess let’s just meet back at the chalet for dinner? Let’s call it 4:30,” Zayn said, knowing that would give everyone plenty of time for the rest of the day to get in all the runs they wanted and for Louis to keep helping Harry out.

Niall nodded his agreement, saluting and pushing off on his board to make his way back to Sundance chair to meet Louis and Harry, leaving Zayn to turn to Liam, a coy smile on Zayn’s lips as he looked at him.

“I’m so embarrassed,” Zayn admitted, laughing lightly as he straightened his skis again. “C’mon, yeah? You wanted to do Easy Street, let’s head over,” Zayn said with a small smile, pushing his poles off the snow to propel himself forward. The universe clearly had other plans for their first kiss but now that Zayn knew it was an inevitability and not wishful thinking, he was less eager to make it happen right now. There would be a right moment sometime later today or tonight. He could wait.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zayn dusted the snow off of his shoulders as he stepped onto the porch of the chalet the boys had rented for the weekend. He and Liam had agreed on their last run of the day as it had started to snow on their way into the chairlift loading platform. By the time they’d reached the top of the hill there were ski attendants instructing everyone that the chairs were going to be closed within the hour due to incoming snow, and to head back down the mountain to meet their groups.

He and Liam had picked their way down Lone Ranger as the snow got heavier, visibility rather limited and for once Zayn was grateful it wasn’t him and Louis up in the double blacks with snow this heavy. Double blacks were hard, dangerous enough without the added hazards of heavy snowfall. He only hoped Louis, Harry, and Niall hadn’t gotten stuck too high up, what with Harry being so new to skiing.

With his and Liam’s equipment stored in the front entry of the chalet he closed the door behind them, groaning as he sat down on the hall bench and unbuckled the snaps of his ski boots for the first time since putting them on that morning. He relished in the feeling of them loosening, tugging his feet out and wiggling his toes.

“Fuuuuck, that feels so good,” he all but moaned, getting his other boot off and nudging them beneath the bench to give room to Liam to get out of his own boots. Zayn wobbled on his feet as he stood, the first few steps always awkward after a day’s confines in boots. He stretched his arms above his head, arching his back and then unzipping his jacket and wiggling out of his ski pants, hanging both on one of the hooks in the entry way, Liam quick behind him.

“You lads back yet?” Zayn hollered into the chalet, his voice echoing off the rockface walls. Frowning, he peeked into the living room but the TV and lights were out. “Guess not,” he said, a concerned frown forming on his features as Liam padded into the kitchen behind him.

“Not here?” Liam asked, a frown of his own forming as he flipped the kitchen lights on.

“Not yet,” Zayn said, glancing at the clock on the stove. Just after 5:00. They were late, but the other three were later. “Maybe… just, Harry’s still learning. Maybe they’re just taking a little longer? They’ll be here soon, I’m sure,” Zayn said, shaking off his worry as he pulled open the fridge to pull out some of the food they’d brought up with them for the weekend to begin making dinner so it could be ready for the other three’s return.

“Right, of course,” Liam said with a little nod as he leaned against the counter, watching Zayn work. Liam knew well enough that Zayn got quiet and pensive when he was worrying about something and it was best not to interrupt or try to distract him. Sometimes Zayn just needed to work through it all in his head in peace and quiet and settle his nerves on his own. Liam knew that much.

When dinner was almost ready, Zayn glanced at the clock again with a deeper frown. Still no sign of the other three and the sun was definitely setting. The hills had night skiing floodlights, but it didn’t settle his nerves any.

“Maybe we should head down to the lodge?” Zayn asked, looking over at Liam from where he was stood looking out the window. “They should have been back by now. It’s almost six o’clock.”

“I don’t think we’re going anywhere,” Liam said with a frown as he came to look out the window with Zayn. The snow was falling steadily in thick, fluffy flakes, piling up around their chalet with ease. “I don’t think anyone’s getting back here, either. I’m sure they’re okay, just. They’re probably going to have to bunk up in the main lodge tonight,” Liam said, not wanting to let his own anxiety about the situation filter through.

“I just want to see,” Zayn said as he pulled away from the counter, slipping past Liam and heading to the entry way once more. He pulled open the front door, a gasp leaving his lips at the sight before him.

The snow was piled deep by now, their footprints from arrival long since buried and snowed over. The snow was drifting up onto the steps, the first two completely buried and the third step under direct threat. The neighbouring chalets were under no better circumstances, and the snow was heavy enough that Zayn could only just make out the muffled shape of the lodge at the bottom of the little hill leading up to the private lodgings.

“Fuck,” he gasped as Liam came up behind him, his own shocked gasp following right behind. “Can you believe this?! Are we going to be stuck here?”

“I… I think so?” Liam said, pulling Zayn back from the door and nudging it closed. “Go turn on the radio, they’ll broadcast,” Liam said, sliding the lock into place and hurrying after Zayn back to the kitchen.

Flipping the radio on the counter on, Zayn fiddled with the dial until he found the nearest local station.

_“Heavy snowfall expected for the region lasting overnight and tomorrow, likely stretching into Sunday. Meteorologists say this snow storm is unexpected but will likely blow over by Monday. We advise all residents to stay indoors and only leave their residences upon immediate emergency. We’ve received word that temporary emergency lodging is being provided for winter sports enthusiasts at Big Mountain Resort and that all patrons are accounted for. Tune in next at eleven for further updates.”_

Zayn stared at Liam as the broadcast faded into a song; jaw dropping at the thought of being snowed in finally hit him.

“At least we know everyone’s safe?” Liam offered gently, biting his lip as he looked across the kitchen island at Zayn. “That’s what counts, right? And we’ve got a weekend’s worth of food to feed five of us. We’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. Please?”

“We’re snowed in!” Zayn said, looking to Liam and trying not to panic. “What if the boys aren’t okay? How do we know?” He asked, worried though rationally he knew Louis and Niall would have done whatever it took to get the three of them down safely and they were almost certainly tucked away in the lodge around the central fireplace, drinking hot chocolate. By now Niall would have made friends with at least another few people and perhaps even started up a fireplace sing-along to brighten everyone’s snowed-in spirits.

“Zayn,” Liam started, stepping around the island to take Zayn by the shoulders and look at him intently. “Even though it’s snowing like crazy you know that if something went wrong that search and rescue would be out finding people with their ski-dos and dogs and whatever, okay? They’re fine. The snow isn’t _that_ bad and this resort isn’t _that_ big. I’m sure everything is fine. And you know Louis is more than competent on a hill. He’d do whatever it took to get Harry down. Niall too. With the two of them looking after Harry… they’re gonna be fine. I’m certain they’re safe. Just. Breathe, okay?” Liam said, pulling Zayn into a proper hug, arms slipping around Zayn’s slim waist and giving him a squeeze.

Zayn nodded gently, hiding his face against Liam’s neck for a moment and just breathing him in. Liam was strong, and warm, and solid around him and Zayn felt calmer in moments because of it. He looped his arms around Liam’s shoulders, hugging him closely and letting his lips brush just barely against the side of Liam’s neck in a silent thank you. He remembered this afternoon – their talk and the so close but so far almost kiss and now they were snowed in together, stuck in the chalet with none of the other boys and nothing but time. Biting his lip as he pulled away gently, Zayn looked back at Liam and offered a small smile.

“Let’s eat, I guess, yeah? Before it gets cold. No sense letting dinner go to waste,” Zayn said as he pulled away to begin serving up their plates of the stir-fry he’d quickly whipped up in anticipation of the other boys arriving. He handed Liam’s plate off before sitting himself atop one of the stools situated around the island, frowning a little as he took his first bite.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Zayn, I promise,” Liam said. He was a little worried, himself, but he knew the extent of Zayn’s worrying sometimes and he didn’t want to make it any worse. They had each other for at least the whole night, but hopefully the snow storm would blow over sometime tomorrow. He had faith and he hoped that some of it could rub off onto Zayn.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After an evening of Zayn’s thoughts preoccupied with the other three boys down at the ski lodge for the night, Zayn awoke the next morning in his bed, snuggled beneath a mountain of blankets and trying to blearily reach out to the night table for his phone to check the time. He shivered at the cool air creeping into his blanket nest and pulled his phone quickly back in to turn it on.

10:30am.

Yawning to himself, Zayn nuzzled his face back into the pillows for a moment before trying to listen to see if he could hear Liam downstairs at all. Liam was an early riser, typically, but after a full first day of skiing he knew they’d both be sore and tired today and Liam could very well be sleeping it off still.

Last night hadn’t gone quite according to plan. Zayn was far too preoccupied with worry about Louis, Harry, and Niall to focus his attention on Liam. They’d popped a movie into the DVD player and sat on the couch together but, despite their conversation earlier in the day at the bottom of the hill, Zayn hadn’t made good on his promise to finally kiss Liam. His mind wasn’t in the right place for it.

Sighing to himself, Zayn rolled over onto his back and stretched his body out, letting out a groan as he felt the tight ache in his thighs. The first ski day of the season always meant a whole lot of aching muscles the next day and Zayn was already dreading having to pick his way down the stairs to the living room later. Getting back up was going to be a nightmare.

Giving himself one more little whine of self-pity, Zayn kicked his blankets off and rolled, pathetically, off the bed to plant his feet on the carpeted floor. His thighs and back and shoulders ached and Zayn couldn’t help the tentative little waddly steps he took as he grabbed his jumper from the end of the bed and tugged it over his head on his way to the bathroom. Zayn brushed his teeth and ran his fingers through his hair, yawning a bit as he headed back down the hall to the stairs, taking a moment to pray for teleportation powers to transport him into the living room, the stairs dauntingly challenging him with their mere existence.

With no such luck, Zayn tentatively stepped down onto the first step, taking them one at a time like some kind of overgrown toddler but it was worth it for the way his muscles protested at the strain of the stairs.

“At this rate it’ll be lunch time by the time you get down here,” Liam’s voice came from the living room and Zayn snapped his head up, scowling down at Liam who was curled up on the couch with the TV on.

“Don’t make fun of me, I’m sure you’re no better off,” Zayn said, a pout on his lips as he finally stepped down onto the ground floor and shuffled his way to the kitchen. “Is there tea?” He called back to Liam, opening the cupboards to find the mugs.

“I just made some, kettle should still be hot,” Liam called back, and Zayn sighed in relief as he grabbed a teabag from where Liam left them out, popping it into his cup and pouring the water in. He shuffled to the sink to look out the window, eyes widening at the sight before him now that the sun was up.

Snow was drifted up the sides of the neighbouring chalets, nearly to the windows. The front porch of the chalet next door was entirely buried and the snow was still falling around them.

“Oh my god, Liam!” Zayn called, picking up his tea mug and walking toward the living room. “Did you see the snow?! How are we going to get out of here?”

Liam looked up from the telly, reaching for the remote to mute the volume.

“I listened to the news on the radio this morning,” Liam said with a small frown. “Said it should blow over by tomorrow afternoon maybe? And if it’s not better by Monday morning they’re going to bring the Sno-Cats in to clear out all the chalets people are staying in but they’re hoping for it to sort itself out by Monday morning.”

Zayn sat down on the couch next to Liam, frowning a bit as he lifted his tea mug to take a sip. It was only Saturday right now. What were he and Liam going to do, alone, for another two days?

“Also the boys are fine,” Liam piped up, a smile spreading on his cheeks as Zayn turned to look at him.

“How do you know?” Zayn asked hurriedly, anxious but feeling relieved all the same.

“They read out the names of everyone accounted for staying at the main lodge, I guess they took a list or something last night,” Liam said, a cheery smile reaching his eyes, nearly disappearing into the apples of his cheeks. “They said if someone you know is missing and you didn’t hear their name to use the emergency line and call in but they’re there. Louis and Harry, and Niall. All safe. No more worrying, alright?”

Zayn sighed heavily, relief and his anxiety washing out of him as he slumped down against Liam’s side, tipping his head against Liam’s shoulder. This weekend had felt like it was shaping up to be a total disaster but with the knowledge of the boys being safe he felt like he could rest easy again, finally. So long as he didn’t go stir crazy snowed in, in the chalet.

“This is like The Shining,” Zayn said finally, extracting a laugh from Liam.

“Hopefully with less ‘redrum’, though, yeah?” Liam chuckled, shifting to lift his arm around Zayn’s shoulders and cuddle him close. This was something Zayn was pretty used to. He and Liam sometimes snuggled like this in Liam’s dorm when they watched movies on Liam’s laptop, needing to be close so they could both see the screen well enough.

“We’ll see,” Zayn said with a small laugh of his own, sipping his tea again and closing his eyes for a moment. “Depends on how long I can tolerate your constant cheeriness when we’re snowed in with nothing to do.” Zayn was only teasing, of course, because if there was anyone he’d rather be snowed in Zayn supposed it would be Liam.

“There’s lots we can do,” Liam said with a little nod, rubbing Zayn’s arm gently and tipping his head down against Zayn’s. “No cable, but there’s a few DVDs here and I brought some too, just in case. And the power’s still on, so that’s good.”

Zayn nodded, humming his agreement as he leaned forward to set his tea mug down on the coffee table before settling in against Liam’s side once more, this time shifting to drape his arm low over Liam’s tummy.

“Remember yesterday,” Zayn said softly, wrinkling his nose a little and not wanting to make this awkward. He and Liam had had such a great day yesterday that he really hadn’t wanted to lose that ease and comfortability they’d had with one another, even though Zayn was sure they both knew they had been standing on a great precipice, staring something inevitable in the face.

“A lot happened yesterday,” Liam laughed, squeezing Zayn gently.

“About kissing you,” Zayn said bluntly, feeling Liam’s body stiffen for a moment before relaxing again slowly, Liam’s fingertips rubbing gently along Zayn’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Liam said, nodding gently. “I, yes. I remember that. I uh. I thought maybe you’d forgotten.”

“No,” Zayn said, shaking his head and shifting to sit up properly to face Liam. “Just was worried, like. Couldn’t really think about kissing you when I was imagining the boys as ice lollies somewhere up North Run.”

Liam laughed lightly at that, nodding his head a little. Zayn could feel the air around them tense up. It was electric, a live wire just waiting to crack, and Zayn wasn’t sure which one of them was going to be the one to spark it.

“I think I want to kiss you now,” Zayn said quietly, eyes locked with Liam’s as he offered a small smile, hoping Liam was on the same wavelength. Zayn watched Liam’s warm brown eyes soften a little, his nerves seemingly smoothing out at Zayn’s confession as he nodded his head barely – just once – so small that Zayn wondered for a moment if he’d imagined it.

“Okay,” Liam finally whispered, eyes dropping to Zayn’s mouth before looking back up at Zayn’s eyes. Zayn smiled coyly, shifting gently as he leaned in a little closer, lifting his hand to rest along the side of Liam’s neck, his thumb brushing along the sharp line of Liam’s jaw.

“Okay,” Zayn repeated softly before leaning up, eyes falling shut as he closed the space between them and let his lips press gently to Liam’s. The kiss was soft, chaste, so innocent but so them, and Zayn felt his heartbeat jump in his chest, a low swoop in his belly. Finally, finally, _finally._

He pulled back after just a moment as a small smile spread on his lips, Liam’s own little smile greeting him as he opened his eyes. Zayn’s thumb brushed along Liam’s jaw again as he leaned back forward for another soft press of their lips, kissing Liam sweetly one more time before he shifted in to nestle against Liam’s side once more, cuddling up close with Liam’s arm around his shoulders.

“That was nice,” Zayn said softly, fingertips twisting a loose thread on the cuff of Liam’s sweater sleeve. He smiled a bit; content, warm all over. It was so easy, really. It was like they’d been leading up to this moment for years now and maybe they really had been, and the universe had a plan for them. Perhaps this was some divine plan all along and the universe needed the right time and moment and Zayn wasn’t going to complain even one bit.

“That… that was. Nice, yeah,” Liam stammered out, and Zayn smiled against his chest. “Does this mean. I mean. Are we. Something?” Liam asked, tipping his head gently down to rest atop Zayn’s, his cheek pressed to Zayn’s temple gently.

“We’re something, yeah,” Zayn said with a laugh on the edge of his voice. “We don’t have to be anything… specific. Or definite. Or whatever,” Zayn said, picking at the loose thread and twisting it around his finger. “I just. I really like you, Liam. And I’d like to keep doing that and this and other things with you.”

“Other things?” Liam asked, and Zayn could hear the smirk in his voice. Zayn pinched Liam’s wrist gently, laughing at the little yelp from him.

“Don’t press your luck,” Zayn teased, laughing lightly and snuggling in closer to Liam for his body warmth. “But. We _are_ snowed in for the weekend, after all. Alone. And there’s only so many movies to watch, so. Maybe other things.”

“Maybe other things,” Liam agreed, nodding gently against the top of Zayn’s head. Zayn smiled as Liam cuddled him a little closer and though he thought perhaps the universe needed the right moment for this to happen, if he’d known it would have been this simple he might have said something sooner. He didn’t know why he was nervous, after all. He and Liam really had been heading to this moment for a long time, he knew that. They had chemistry and friendship and a connection and Zayn sighed softly at the thought that this thing with Liam could be this easy.

Meant to be. Maybe. There was this deeper understanding between them, he thought. He didn’t have to explain anything to Liam and Liam didn’t have to say anything either. They understood each other, and falling into this easy quiet moment was just natural; perfect.

Zayn let his eyes fall closed once again as he cuddled into Liam’s broad chest, fitting himself comfortably into Liam’s side, safe with the weight of Liam’s strong arm around his shoulders like this. There had always been an air of comfort, of acceptance when he and Liam pressed together in Liam’s dorm room for a movie night and he supposed that all of that, all of those moments, weren’t quite so different to what they were doing now.

“We were always kind of each other’s, weren’t we?” Zayn asked quietly, keeping his eyes closed and listening to the sound of Liam’s beating heart beneath where his ear was pressed to Liam’s chest. “This doesn’t feel any different than back at school,” Zayn confessed, fingertips sliding down Liam’s wrist to tangle with Liam’s own fingers and rest their hands against Liam’s hip.

“I suppose not, no,” Liam said, tipping his head down gently to let his lips brush against Zayn’s forehead. “I always kind of thought that, like. Maybe one of those times I might get brave enough to pull you closer or, or even kiss you, maybe,” Liam said softly and Zayn could hear the shy smile in Liam’s voice.

“You could have,” Zayn affirmed, nodding against Liam’s chest gently and squeezing his hand.

“I know, I know. Or, I do now. I think I always wondered if it would be okay but I didn’t want to risk it not being okay, mostly, because I liked when we hung out and you stayed over and stuff,” Liam said, shifting slightly beneath Zayn and shrugging a shoulder lightly.

“Right idiots, we are,” Zayn said with a small laugh, opening his eyes and looking up at Liam. “I was the same way, yeah? I liked you too much to want to mess it up, but. I guess I’m glad I did now,” Zayn said, looking up at Liam and smiling.

“Me too,” Liam said, closing the space between them to press their lips together again and Zayn was grateful for the fact that Liam took it deeper than the last kiss, untangling his fingers from Zayn’s to bring his hand up to Zayn’s cheek, cupping gently to pull him deeper into the kiss this time.

Zayn went willingly, shifting on the couch with Liam to lean up more to make the kiss easier. He twisted closer, kissing Liam a little deeper still and letting his tongue gently brush Liam’s lips, smiling into it when Liam parted his lips and let him in. The angle was uncomfortable on his back, though, and Zayn shifted up to slide his knee over Liam’s lap, straddling his thighs. Zayn’s hands slipped down over Liam’s shoulders and chest, feeling the broad, strong muscular definition there as they traveled down.

Zayn had always been a little bit obsessed with Liam’s body – muscular and defined and perfect. A little shamefully, he couldn’t count the times he’d snuck a peek when Liam pulled his jumpers off and his shirt rode up, or when Liam had come back from the gym and stripped his shirt off before heading to the shower. Endless times Zayn had wanted to run his hands over Liam’s strong, broad body – to feel the ridges and hard lines of his abs, to squeeze his bulky biceps, to dig his fingers into the strong muscle of Liam’s broad back. Maybe he’d get to now.

Liam’s hands found their way up over Zayn’s thighs and to his hips, curling around them and pulling Zayn in closer as they kissed. This was exactly what Zayn had hoped for – Liam’s strength and possessiveness keeping Zayn close and cared for, that feeling of being wanted was Zayn’s guilty pleasure. Zayn shivered a little, letting his fingertips dip underneath the hem of Liam’s jumper, fingers skittering across Liam’s firm, toned stomach.

“God, Liam,” Zayn whispered against his lips, pulling back gently to look up at him. “You have no idea how bad I’ve always wanted you,” he said, pressing the faintest of little kisses to Liam’s lower lip and sitting up straighter again to look at Liam properly.

“I might,” Liam said, whispering back, as if their voices might somehow put a crack in the moment. “I’ve wanted you, too. You’re the nicest, smartest, funniest person I know,” Liam continued, looking up at Zayn with a small smile, his hands squeezing Zayn’s hips again gently. “And look at you. On top of all that you get to be the most beautiful person anyone’s ever seen.”

Zayn laughed lightly, ducking his head a bit, his hair spilling into his eyes as a blush dusted his sharp cheekbones.

“I don’t know about that,” he said quietly, peeking up at Liam again.

“I do,” Liam said, nodding gently. “You’re… god, I love you for so many reasons but being as gorgeous as you are really helps,” he said, and Zayn jerked up to stare Liam in the eyes, heartbeat picking up in his chest.

“You love me?” Zayn asks quietly, the smallest of shy smiles creeping onto his face. He doesn’t want to scare Liam away or make Liam think he’s said something wrong, but Zayn wants to know Liam’s real feelings because he’s pretty sure he’s on the same page.

He can see Liam freeze up at the question, can see the way Liam immediately chastises himself for saying it and Zayn almost breaks.

“Hey,” he says quietly, bringing his hand up to cup Liam’s jaw, tilting his head up to look at him properly. “It’s nothing bad, yeah? If you don’t or you… you know, if you’re not sure it’s that, that’s okay,” Zayn says softly, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to Liam’s lips. “But. It’d be okay if you did, too.”

Zayn smiled a bit as Liam relaxed beneath him. Liam’s hands slipped from Zayn’s hips up to the small of his back, pulling him in closer to wrap his arms around Zayn’s lithe frame. Zayn smiled as Liam pressed a kiss to Zayn’s jaw, nuzzling in gently.

“In that case,” Liam started, Zayn able to feel him smile against his skin. “I do. Love you, I mean. I think I always kind of have, but. I really do love you,” he said softly.

“I love you, too,” Zayn said back, sliding his hands out from under Liam’s jumper to move up and loop around Liam’s neck and shoulders. “I love you, a lot. Have for a long time,” Zayn explained quietly, smiling at the gentle nuzzle and subsequent kiss Liam pressed to the underside of Zayn’s jaw. He sighed softly, closing his eyes for a moment, relishing in the little moment created in their own personal little bubble – snowed in, tucked away, alone.

“We should nap,” Zayn said softly, stroking his fingers through Liam’s hair gently. “We’ve got all day to waste, might as well nap together and enjoy some peace and quiet before the boys get back, hm?” He asked quietly, smiling a bit.

“Nap together? Sounds amazing,” Liam said with a little nod, Zayn smiling at the slight tickle of Liam’s facial hair against his skin. “My room or yours?”

“Mine. Bed’s comfy. Carry me,” Zayn whined softly, remembering the ache and pull in his muscles when he came down the stairs this morning. He dreaded climbing them back up to his room.

“In your dreams,” Liam huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “M’just as sore as you are. Now get going,” Liam said, nudging Zayn playfully to get off of him. Zayn did, finally, pulling himself up to his feet and groaning as the ache in his calves as he moved to head for the stairs.

Slowly the pair climbed the staircase, one step at a time, holding onto each other for support until they reached the top. Zayn’s entire body ached and the draw to his warm bed and Liam’s body pressed up against his own sounded like a heavenly way to pass the time until the winter storm passed over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The feeling of Liam shifting next to him is what stirs Zayn from slumber a few hours later. Yawning softly, Zayn stretched his arms out over his head, arching his back up with a groan before relaxing again as he turned his head to face Liam, smiling at the pretty brown eyes looking back at him.

“Hi,” Zayn whispered quietly, shifting onto his side to face Liam properly, smiling at the way Liam’s arm came out to curl over his waist. Zayn pressed in closer, tucking into Liam’s broad chest with a smile.

“Hi,” Liam said back softly, sliding his hand gently down Zayn’s back, cuddling him closer. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Mmm,” Zayn hums softly, nodding gently as he tucks his head beneath Liam’s chin and closed his eyes again, content to stay warm and cuddled up in bed together. “Don’t know how long we slept, but. Feels good,” he says through a yawn into the fabric of Liam’s t-shirt.

“Good, yeah,” Liam says, his hand dipping beneath Zayn’s own t-shirt to rest flat against the bare skin at the small of Zayn’s back, thumb brushing gently back and forth on the back of Zayn’s hip. Zayn smiles at the sensation, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and nibbling gently. It’s a perfect afternoon, really, on the verge of being too warm under all the covers and with their body heat together. Zayn sighs softly, brushing his nose against the center of Liam’s collarbones, nuzzling a little.

“Still love me?” Zayn asks, the smile evident in his voice. He grins as he feels the small laugh Liam lets out, laughing with him and moving to lift his head to look up at Liam once again.

“Nah,” Liam says, but his grin gives him away. “Somewhere between this morning and now I’ve changed my mind. Get out of this bed right now,” Liam says, giving Zayn a playful nudge.

“This is _my_ bed, you know,” Zayn says, feigning affront as he pinches Liam’s hip.

“Oh, right,” Liam laughs, pointedly tugging Zayn back in against him. “In that case, forgive me, never leave,” he says, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s temple.

“S’better,” Zayn tells him, leaning in for a proper kiss this time, lips pressed gently to Liam’s. He’s so glad he gets to do this now. Zayn can’t help the sigh that escapes him as Liam deepens the kiss, Liam’s hand sliding back underneath Zayn’s shirt and up his back, tugging the material along with it.

Zayn shivers a little at the feeling of Liam’s calloused hand slipping over his skin, loving how strong and broad Liam feels next to him. It hits him suddenly, the curling of want in his stomach at the way Liam’s hands touch his body. Or maybe it’s not sudden, he thinks. Maybe it’s crashing; crashing over him finally, like Liam is the waves and he’s the shore, waiting for the inevitable break rushing over him as the waves build and build and build.

“I want you so much,” Zayn whispers into the kiss as he presses himself a little closer to Liam and bites gently at his lip. “I’ve wanted you for so long. God, Liam.”

“You’ve got me,” Liam tells him, his hands sliding down Zayn’s sides and to the waistband of his trackies, fingertips hooking there gently. “You can have me,” Liam says, the smallest smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I want,” Zayn starts, pressing another kiss to Liam’s lips and arching his back into Liam’s touches, smiling at the way Liam’s hands settle on his hips. “Can we… I really want to feel you inside me,” Zayn says, knowing just how forward it is but he can’t help himself; not when he has Liam here in his bed like this, tucked away from the world.

“ _God,_ Zayn,” Liam gasps out, his hips rocking forward into Zayn’s at the thought. “Yes, fuck. Yes, whatever you want. I want that. I want you, too,” he says, kissing Zayn deeply, bringing one of his hands up to cup Zayn’s cheek.

Zayn kisses Liam back, taking it deeper and letting his lips part to trace his tongue over Liam’s, shifting his body closer to grind his hips gently against Liam’s, shuddering at the friction and the way it feels as his dick perks up in interest. He can’t help the soft moan that slips from his lips, knowing just how much he loves Liam and that he finally gets to have him.

“I gotta,” Zayn starts, pulling back from the kiss to push himself up on his arms, looking down at Liam. “I didn’t. Bring stuff. I didn’t think I’d need it but. I know Louis and Harry have stuff so just. I’ll be back,” Zayn says through a smile, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation as he leans down to press a quick kiss to Liam’s lips before kicking the covers back and rolling out of the bed. He can’t help but grin widely as Liam’s giggles ring in his ears as he scampers down the hallway to the room across the hall, pushing into Louis and Harry’s bedroom and seeing Louis’ bag tossed on their still-made bed.

He unzips a few pockets, groaning in frustration until he finally finds the strip of condoms in the side pocket, tearing one off and grabbing the bottle of lubricant as well.

“Thanks, Lou,” Zayn says through a laugh as he hurries back to his room, stopping in his tracks at the sight of Liam on the bed, naked now except for just his pants and oh, the obvious bulge makes Zayn’s heart jump.

“Hi,” Liam says from where he’s sprawled out and Zayn smiles brightly, knowing how ridiculous he must look standing in the doorway holding a condom and a bottle of lube in his hands. “Coming back in here or what?”

“Fuck, sorry,” Zayn says, a blush heating his cheeks as he drops the items on the bed, tugging his t-shirt over his head and dropping it to the floor. “You just. You look. God, you’re so fit,” Zayn grins as he wiggles out of his trackies, left only in his pants as well. He knees up onto the bed, leaning over Liam for another kiss before sliding a knee over Liam’s hips to straddle him.

He’s seen Liam shirtless plenty of times; he’s been in Liam’s room when Liam returns from the gym or his morning runs. He’s been brushing his teeth in the bathrooms when Liam’s stepped out of the showers with a towel wrapped around his waist. But those times don’t compare to this – Liam nearly naked beneath him, Zayn able to touch and look and feel as much as he wants. Liam’s practically laid out just for Zayn and Zayn couldn’t be more awed as he smiles, sliding his hands flat up over Liam’s lower stomach, feeling the ridges of his defined abs beneath his fingertips.

Zayn’s always been naturally pretty thin and lithe, he doesn’t work much for the body he has aside from climbing the eight flights of stairs to his morning English class back at uni because the elevator is old and slow and he can make it up to the top before it arrives to the bottom, sometimes. And there’s the ski season, sure, but he’s been pretty blessed to have the body he does, slight definition of his abs and chest that suit him just fine. Liam, though… Liam works so hard for his body and Zayn appreciates his dedication and commitment, typically, but right now he’s appreciating just how gorgeous Liam is. Zayn can’t help but bite his lower lip gently while he lets his fingertips run smoothly between the ditches of Liam’s abdominal muscles, loving the way they flex at the tickle of his touches. He traces his fingertips up higher, the definition of Liam’s pecs drawing him in as he smooths his palms flat over them and leans down to press a kiss to Liam’s lips.

“D’you have any idea how fit you are, Liam?” Zayn asks, and he’s pretty sure he knows the answer is no. Liam is always rather quiet and unassuming, he works out hard because he loves it, but he doesn’t have a vain bone in his body and Zayn knows that though Liam has just fine self-esteem he doesn’t really consider himself anything special. Zayn does.

“Stop,” Liam says, a blush heating his cheeks as Zayn presses kisses down the side of his jaw. Zayn smiled, nuzzling in for a moment before pulling back to sit up straight again and look down at Liam.

“I don’t know that I can do that,” Zayn tells him, a smile brightening up his face as his fingertips dance their way back down Liam’s body to the waistband of his grey boxer-briefs, hooking beneath and tugging gently. “You’re beautiful, Liam. You’re sexy. I’m so turned on just touching you like this, god,” Zayn breathes out, hips grinding down slightly against Liam’s own, seemingly out of his control.

“Oh my god,” Liam groans out, bringing his hands up to hide his face for a moment before peeking through his fingers and, oh, Zayn could not possibly be more in love with Liam even if he tried.

“It’s true,” Zayn says, smiling brightly as he leans down to kiss the center of Liam’s chest, trailing gentle little kisses down between his pecs and leading to his abs. “You’re so sexy. Your body is unreal, your smile makes me feel like I’m gonna melt away,” Zayn says, flicking his gaze up to Liam’s blushing face.

“Shut up and get us naked already,” Liam says through an embarrassed groan and Zayn grins as he sits up again, tugging the waist of Liam’s pants down slowly. He bites his lip as he follows the little trail of hair leading down from Liam’s navel to beneath his pants, loving each bit of exposed skin more than the last.

Zayn shifts himself back off of Liam’s legs, tugging his pants completely and tossing them aside somewhere over the edge of the bed. This is new. They’ve both seen glimpses of each other naked in the showers at school, or coming into each other’s dorm rooms without knocking, but never like this. Zayn’s never seen Liam getting hard and his stomach flip-flops at the sight. Every bit of Liam is gorgeous – his face is beautiful, his body is a dream, and even his cock is nice. Zayn settles between Liam’s knees on the bed, hands smoothing down the underside of Liam’s thighs to push his legs back and up a little to give him more room.

“Fuck,” Zayn sighs out, loving that, for once, Liam doesn’t look nervous or shy. If anything, he looks confident and sexy and everything Zayn’s ever dreamed about. “God, your dick is so nice,” Zayn says, unable to help himself as he curls his right hand around Liam’s length, stroking him slowly as Liam hardens more in his hand.

“M’glad you think so,” Liam says, shifting his hips a little, a small sigh spilling from his lips at Zayn’s touch. “Be kind of awkward if you got me naked and changed your mind,” he teases, and Zayn loves it. He loves that Liam’s shyness seems to have subsided and he’s open and confident and teasing Zayn now.

“Shut up,” Zayn says, wasting no time as he curls down to press his lips to the tip of Liam’s cock, rolling back the foreskin gently. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” Zayn tells him as he parts his lips and takes Liam into his mouth, moaning softly as he pushes down. He nearly smiles as he feels Liam’s fingers slide into his hair almost immediately but his lips stretched around Liam’s cock stop him from doing so. He can’t help the soft moan he lets out, though, breathing through his nose as he pulls back up and laves his tongue over the head of Liam’s cock.

“You’re so beautiful,” Liam says, breath stuttering as Zayn’s hand twists around his cock, tongue running smoothly over the head. “You have no idea, babe. You’re perfect,” Liam tells him and Zayn hums his approval at the encouragement from Liam. He pushes back down on Liam’s cock, closing his eyes as he swallows against his gag reflex, breathing out slowly to hold himself there for a moment before pulling up again and looking up at Liam. His own dick is hard, confined by his pants, and he’s just so ready to have Liam, finally. Fooling around and foreplay can come later. He wants this now.

“I love you,” Zayn says, pushing himself up again onto his knees as he reaches to hook his fingers in the elastic waist of his pants, pushing them down over his sharp hips slowly, eyes locked on Liam the whole time. He smirks as he watches Liam’s eyes wander down his body to his waist, watches Liam’s eyes widen a little bit when Zayn finally pushes his pants down completely and wiggles out of them, naked now.

“Love you, too,” Liam says, gaze flicking back up to Zayn’s face as Zayn reaches out for the bottle of lubricant he’d stolen from Louis’ bag. He watches as Zayn flips the cap open, squeezing some of the cool liquid onto his fingertips. “Eager?” He asks, and the smirk on his face sends shivers straight to Zayn’s dick.

“Shut up,” Zayn says, setting the bottle aside on the bed as he reaches behind himself, pressing his lubed fingertips to his hole, rubbing gently. “Fuck, you have no idea how bad I want you,” Zayn tells him, dropping his eyes closed and furrowing his brows as he presses his first finger inside slowly.

“Jesus, Zayn,” Liam gapes, staring at Zayn kneeling between his legs, reaching around to finger himself. “Fuck, c’mere,” he says, reaching out to tug Zayn down into a bruising kiss, fierce and dirtier than any they’ve shared so far.

Zayn moans into it as he eases his finger back, moving to brace himself on the bed by Liam’s shoulders instead. He groans as Liam’s hand slides down his back and over his arse cheek, gasping into the kiss when he feels Liam’s fingertips slip between his cheeks.

“Liam, fuck,” Zayn groans, biting at Liam’s lower lip gently. He moans when he feels the pad of Liam’s first finger press against his hole, pushing in easily with the slick of the lube. “Oh my god,” Zayn whimpered, shuddering a bit as he rests against Liam’s chest, the shock setting in that this is happening. Liam’s pressing his finger deeper into Zayn to prepare him for what’s to come.

“You’re tight, babe,” Liam purrs into the kiss, smirking a little, and Zayn is dazed. There are, apparently, things about Liam that Zayn does not know – one of them being how quickly his confidence is turned on in bed. Zayn loves it.

“Can’t wait for you to fuck me,” Zayn murmurs, biting at Liam’s lip again gently as he rocks his hips back against Liam’s finger, moaning softly when Liam slips his second finger inside and curls them gently. “Fuck, I’m so fucking hard for you,” he shudders, grinding his hips gently, loving the drag of his cock on Liam’s firm abs.

“You have a dirty mouth,” Liam tells him, laughing lightly as he gently begins to scissor his fingers apart inside of Zayn, stretching him gently. “Didn’t know you were like this, Zayn. Gagging for it, huh?”

Zayn pinches Liam just above his ribs for that, groaning when Liam’s fingers just barely nudge nearer to his prostate. He loves it, though. He loves this side of Liam he’s getting to explore now. Liam is always reserved and rather shy, blushing on the drop of a dime, but this Liam is more dominant and aggressive, teasing Zayn and smirking about it. Zayn loves it.

“Your fault,” Zayn hisses between gritted teeth. “You’re fucking beautiful, Liam, god. I’ve wanted you so long. I want you so bad,” he says, slumping against Liam’s chest as Liam twists his fingers deeper, pressing in as far as he can, eliciting a shiver from Zayn’s entire body.

Zayn whines softly as he opens his eyes from where his head is laying against Liam’s clavicle, trying to muster the energy to reach out to grab the condom he’d dropped on the bed earlier. Liam’s fingers are so perfect, though, twisting and scissoring inside of him so perfectly Zayn’s not really sure if he can figure out how to move his arm anymore.

“Oh god, stop,” he finally hisses, finding the strength to press himself up on his arms and look down at Liam, who’s fingers still immediately.

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Liam asked, that hurt puppy look Zayn loves so much slipping onto his features.

“Nothing, nothing,” Zayn says, taking a slow breath as he shifts his hips for Liam to ease his fingers back. He does, and Zayn whimpers at the loss. “Just. Need to calm down,” Zayn says, a dust of a blush on his own cheeks as he hangs his head, a little embarrassed. Liam grins and slides his hands over Zayn’s sharp hips, down his thighs to cup his knees.

“That good, huh?” Liam asks, raising an eyebrow as he looks up at Zayn.

“Shut up,” Zayn says with a groan, leaning over to grab the condom and attempting to tear into it. “Just. Like you a lot, yeah? Want this so bad.”

Liam reaches up to still Zayn’s hands as they work on opening the condom, pulling Zayn down for a gentle kiss, keeping it sweet. Zayn smiles into it, feeling time still between them as Liam kisses him.

“It’s okay, Zayn,” Liam says, peppering kisses down over Zayn’s chin and along his jawline. “I want it too. You. Want you,” he says softly, nuzzling against Zayn’s temple.

“I know,” Zayn tells Liam, sitting up again and finally opening the foil of the condom, pulling the latex out. “I love you. I’m so ready for this,” he says, shifting back on Liam’s hips and reaching down to his erection; hard and dark and almost looking painful.

Zayn pinches the tip of the condom and uses his other hand to roll it down over Liam’s cock, smiling as he reaches for the lube again. He chances a glance up at Liam when he hears Liam moan softly, loving the little noises he’s learning Liam makes. He’s so beautiful, every piece of him.

Zayn squeezes some lubricant out, curling his hand around Liam’s cock and stroking him a few times to slick him up completely before looking back up at Liam as he raises up on his knees and shuffles forward.

“Ready?” Zayn asks as Liam’s fingertips slide up his inner thighs and over the crease of his hips before curling around his sides and giving a gentle nod. Zayn nods too, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly as he presses himself down.

Zayn groans softly as he feels the blunt head of Liam’s cock press up against his hole, biting against his lower lip as he closes his eyes and eases himself down further. It hurts a bit, yeah, even though Liam did an incredible job of fingering him open, but he wants this so bad. It’s so easy with Liam. They just seemed to have fallen together perfectly and getting to this point here was just as simple.

Zayn shifts his hips a little bit as he settles finally, letting out a slow breath through pursed lips as he adjusts to the sensation of Liam being fully, completely inside of him as he rests against Liam’s hips now, hands braced down against Liam’s abs to give him some semblance of grounding, lest he float away on a the high of being here with Liam like this.

“Feels so big,” Zayn sighs out, shifting his hips gently from side to side, nothing more than a gentle sway as his body continues to adjust and get used to the feeling. Liam’s big – bigger than his last partner – and Zayn kind of loves it. It makes sense, he supposes. Liam’s always been the ‘go big or go home’ type. When it comes to school, or working out, or besting his time on his morning runs… Zayn supposes it only makes sense that Liam even has an exceptional dick. He’s not complaining. Liam feels thick, and big, so deep inside him. He’s a little nervous to start moving; Liam’s dick is heavy and curved in almost exactly the right angle to grind against his prostate with each movement. Zayn’s not gonna last long.

Zayn sees the way Liam’s cheeks flush at Zayn’s comment and he can’t help but smile about it. Liam is easily the most beautiful boy Zayn knows, inside and out, and he thinks there’s nothing sweeter than the shy, blushing smiles Liam lets him see – especially like this, laid out on the bed and looking up at Zayn like he’s one of the wonders of the universe. Liam makes Zayn feel like he is.

“You feel incredible,” Liam nearly whispers, voice a little raspy with the intensity of the situation. “God, Zayn, you feel so perfect,” he says as Zayn rolls his hips forward, the two of them groaning softly together. Zayn marvels at how well they fit together, at how easy it is to settle himself against Liam’s strong hips, how his own thighs are spread perfectly around Liam’s waist as he slowly pushes himself up and back down again on Liam’s cock.

Zayn’s eyes fall closed, chin dropping to his chest as he lets out a low moan at the perfect way Liam’s cock grinds right up against his prostate. It’s possible that this is the best sex Zayn’s ever had and they’ve only just started. He whines quietly, digging his fingertips into Liam’s pecs as he lifts his hips and rolls them back down, shuddering at the grind against his prostate again. He’s totally lost in the moment for now, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of Liam inside him and how perfectly they fit together – like Liam’s body was made for Zayn’s; made just the right way to fit perfectly together and give Zayn exactly what he wants to get off.

“God, babe,” Zayn finally sighs out, the whisper of a laugh dragging behind his words. “Don’t think m’gonna make it much longer,” he admits, opening his eyes to flick up to Liam’s flushed face, smiling as he sits up a little straighter now to move a little faster. “You feel so fucking good, fuck,” Zayn moans loudly, grinding his hips down a little harder now.

Liam’s hands slide up over Zayn’s thighs, squeezing gently before settling on Zayn’s sharp hips to help guide him, his strong arms finding no trouble in tugging Zayn down against him a little harder. Zayn tosses his head back, spine arched at the way Liam begins grinding his hips upward to meet Zayn’s body each time he drops down. Zayn likes to be on top when he bottoms, typically, but the power of Liam’s thrusts and the feeling of Liam’s strong arms on his body make Zayn shudder to think about what it’d be like to lay spread out on the bed and have Liam fuck him hard, held up on those biceps Zayn loves so much. Or to be on his knees, Liam holding him down against the mattress and fucking him hard, fast, deep from behind. The thought of letting go, of not being in control, of just letting Liam _take_ him like that goes right to his dick and Zayn has to gasp out, give a few little pats to Liam’s chest to get him to slow down.

“Stop, stop,” he gasps out, rolling his hips down and whimpering. “Oh god, fuck, don’t wanna come yet,” Zayn says, a little embarrassed as he runs his hands flat down over Liam’s chest and stomach, tracing the lines of his abs and smiling down at him.

“That good, huh?” Liam asks, in what Zayn thinks is a sex-induced dose of confidence. Liam’s never that forward.

“Shut up,” Zayn says, laughing lightly as he gently rocks his hips, taking in a slow, deep breath and letting it out again through pursed lips to settle himself. “Yes, that good,” Zayn hisses as Liam, the bastard, grinds his hips up just to spite him. “I need a minute,” Zayn says, a little self-depreciating as he slowly rocks his hips to keep up how good it feels while allowing himself to calm down a bit.

Liam just grins beneath him – that bright, sunshiney grin where his eyes practically disappear into the apples of his cheeks. Zayn’s pretty sure he feels his heart swoop in his chest as Liam slides his hands up over Zayn’s hips and along his lower back, tugging him down over Liam’s chest to press their lips together. Zayn whimpers softly at the change in angle and the feeling of his cock trapped between their bellies. Liam’s hands slide up Zayn’s back, one splayed out between Zayn’s shoulder blades, the other running along the length of Zayn’s spine and keeping him close as they kiss deeply, a gentle rock of Liam’s hips rolling up into Zayn.

“You good?” Liam asks quietly against Zayn’s lips, smiling a little and cuddling Zayn’s body close to his chest, squeezing him gently and bumping their noses together lightly.

“Mmm, yeah,” Zayn nods softly, smiling a bit and staying close to Liam, pressed to his chest and braced on his forearms above Liam’s shoulders as he rocks his hips back. Zayn grins as Liam’s hips press up to grind into him again and oh, this angle is good too. His dick is rubbing up between their stomachs, pressed close with just the right amount of friction to send him closer to the edge. “Fuck me, yeah?” He asks, fingertips sliding through Liam’s hair and pushing it back off his forehead as he presses their lips together once more.

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, nodding a bit into the kiss and keeping his hand holding to Zayn’s upper back, the other curling around Zayn’s hip to hold him there as he shifts to press his feet flat to the bed, bending his knees up a little to get the momentum he needs. Liam thrusts his hips up, grinding deep into Zayn and moaning loudly. It’s perfect, Zayn thinks.

Zayn bites at Liam’s lip, the kiss dissolved as Zayn moans against Liam’s lips, unable to hold it anymore. He gasps as he grinds his hips back against Liam’s thrusts, moaning loudly into the room and shuddering at the way he feels his orgasm building, burning low in his belly. Zayn finally drops his face down into the crook of Liam’s neck, breathing hard and loving the moans and whimpers Liam breathes against his ear. Zayn curls his fingers tighter against Liam’s hair, not pulling, but holding on as Liam fucks up into him, harder now, hitting his prostate nearly each time.

“Oh fuck,” Zayn gasps against Liam’s neck, nipping the skin gently and rocking his hips back once more before he feels his orgasm hit, washing over him in waves. He cries out loudly, bucking back as Liam fucks him through it a little harder. Zayn feels his skin prickle all over with how good it is, and the unrelenting grinding against his prostate only prolongs the feeling as he feels Liam’s hips stutter for a moment before he pushes in deep, grinding low and Zayn knows Liam has come too.

“God, Zayn,” Liam pants against his jaw, rolling his hips gently to ride out his orgasm which send shockwaves down Zayn’s spine. Zayn shivers as Liam’s hips still but he stays inside Zayn, loving the intimacy in it. He and Liam have shared all kinds of intimacies over their years of friendship but there is something impossibly, perfectly beautiful about Liam making no move to pull out of him just yet. Zayn maybe falls in love with him a little more for it.

“I know,” Zayn sighs softly, dragging the tip of his nose along Liam’s jawline, smiling a bit at the little tickle of Liam’s facial hair. “Fuck, babe. S’amazing,” Zayn says, shivering a little as he shifts to push up on his arms so he can look down at Liam again. He groans at the shift of Liam’s cock inside of him, so sensitive from his orgasm.

“Kiss?” Liam asks and he looks far too cute for Zayn to resist. He presses their lips together softly before finally moving to climb off. Liam’s getting softer inside of him now and he needs to move. Gingerly, Zayn slides off Liam’s hips with a groan at the feeling of emptiness before he moves to pull the condom off. He discards it in a few tissues from the box on his night table before flumping down next to Liam on the bed, smiling as Liam immediately curls his arm around Zayn and pulls him into his side for a cuddle.

Zayn shifts to rest his head on Liam’s shoulder, his hand curling against Liam’s chest as he rests there next to him, coming down and trying to process just how much had happened in the last twenty four hours. He was so grateful the boys were safe, but all he could really think about was loving Liam and how, really, nothing felt that different. He’d loved Liam for a long time; today just solidified that.

“Could use another nap, ‘bout now,” Liam said sleepily, closing his eyes slowly. “Wore me out,” he said, smiling against Zayn’s temple.

Zayn was about to agree before he heard the crash and ruckus of the front door banging open downstairs, the excitement of three voices filling the lodge.

“You fuckers better be decent,” Niall’s voice yelled into the living room and Zayn laughed as he reached to pull the covers up over his and Liam’s naked bodies. “We’re here to rescue you and I don’t wanna see any dicks!”

Zayn laughed brightly, warmth flooding his chest. The boys making it back to the lodge was the perfect ending to a perfect day. Their safety was most important and Zayn was so thankful that the snow had subsided enough for them to safely return.

“We’re up here!” Liam called out as they listened to the banging around of equipment being dumped and the _zipzipswish_ of nylon ski pants and jackets being discarded. “We’re never gonna hear the end of this, you know,” Liam said, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s forehead.

“Mm, I know; getting laid up here while they spent the night down at the lodge. We’re awful,” Zayn agreed, laughing lightly, listening to the sounds of three sets of feet bounding up the stairs, no doubt moments away from crashing into Zayn’s room to doggy pile him and Liam.

Zayn smiled as he cuddled into Liam’s side, laughing when the door flung open and Louis came soaring through the air, landing against them with an _oomph_ , the other two following quickly.

This weekend was, by far, the best Zayn had had in his life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me at my [tumblr](http://flamingoshirts.tumblr.com)!  
> 


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